Nerdage.

Yup.  I’m pretty sure I fall into the nerd category.  I love computers, technology, and gadgets.  I’m a total “gear head”, meaning that whatever current technological pursuit I’m enthralled in, I love to research, hours upon hours, about every detail, reveling in the multiplicity of options.  Josh (my eldest bro) and I call it McFadden’s Disease, and we’re pretty sure it is a genetic trait passed on through the male bloodline.

Which Path.

I’ve worked with computers since I was 14, at an Internet Service Provider, doing tech support, and then moving on to the IT department.  It was an amazing job, and I’m continually thankful for it.  I was going to pursue Electrical and Computer Engineering, but a few weeks before school started, I decided that wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.  I switched schools, and pursued Youth Ministry, while at the same time developing a negative taste for my techno-self.  It was the right decision, I don’t regret it at all.  Yet since then, I’ve somewhat struggled with technology, with this idea that it is more of a distraction than a tool.  I admired the lives of The Desert Fathers, and often thought of ditching technology, but I don’t think I’d like to eat honey locusts while wearing a burlap sack (we have enough people doing that in Oregon already).  But that wasn’t really an option in school, so I just lived with this underlying feeling of guilt, nagging at me that I needed to shelve this aspect of my life.  Visually, in my mind, it always seemed like two different paths.  Path #1  = Jesus.  Path #2 = Technology.

Priorities.

We all have times when we need to set things aside, allowing them to deescalate as a priority.  I’ve since realized that technology comes naturally for me.  It doesn’t have to be the thorn in my side, but it can be an incredible tool for bringing education, justice, unity, and Jesus to people (not to mention helping out my parents and grandparents).  Pursuing technology is no less “holy” than pursuing youth ministry.  In fact, I think we suffer from escalating the sacred, to the point of inducing mental breakdowns rooted in guilt and shame for those who aren’t professionally pursuing full-time vocational ministry.  It all depends on what we do with it, and how submitted we are to the Spirit.

But, I also struggle with Hyper-Idea-Disease, so things can quickly become the end, rather than the means.  Video has been the first “hobby” I can remember that has started with a clear evaluation of my priorities.  “It WILL be a tool.”  However, I’ve struggled along the way over the past few years, allowing it to take up to much of my time, but overall, the pursuit is so that it will benefit the Kingdom, and not myself.  It has been a slow road, with a LOT of learning along the way, but I’m starting to get some clarity on it’s potential.

Two Roads Diverged Converged.

Somewhat frightening. From bigbible.co.uk

When we critically evaluate ideas (not just initially, but continually), we can have multiple paths overlap.  Sometimes that keeps us going in the same direction, and at other times that moves us into new areas of exploration and discovery.  There will always be multiple voices in our head, pushing and pulling us in different directions.  I’m embracing it for the time being, and deeply enjoying it.  There is a new sense of freedom that has been very rewarding, especially since ministry’s accomplishments are often slow.

Lately, slowly approaching an idea has been very helpful for me, but I want to know what does your discernment process look like?